OH THE PURPLE AND ORANGE HILLS OF FEDEX

It is often said that there is nothing better than waking up each morning with a sickening feeling of impending death and catastrophic doom in your stomach, showering, dressing and driving to work to face another day of trying to cram 14 hours work into 8 finite ones, to make you feel like you are truly alive. Admittedly the people saying this are sitting in various mental clinics, doped so high on drugs they are circling several solar systems simultaneously, but you can't argue with the fact that they are saying this. Drooling on their straight jackets, yes, but saying it nonetheless. While I wanted very much to stand in solidarity with my lithium-enhanced brethren, I finally decided one morning in August that enough was enough, and that there was such a thing as being too alive. Not that I minded the constant panicked surges of adrenaline as I realised once again I had more work than I could possibly do in one day, a situation that had been my lot in life for about two years, but no one at Fedex was listening, and I had frankly had enough....and besides I couldn't find a straight jacket in a colour I liked so I had no real interest in playing checkers with Mad Martha in B wing of the psych ward.....

So in the space of a week, and after my ex-boyfriend had brought a job at Optus to my attention, I had applied for, being interviewed for, and offered a job at Optus as an Executive Assistant to two of the Directors of the Wholesale division. Phew!! Head spinning like that charming gal in The Exorcist (but without the horrible messy projectile vomit), I gave notice to my manager, who possessing all the humanity of a toxic waste dump in the Summer sunshine, didn't even attempt to sway me from my decision (though lots of other people at Fedex did, which did my ego a world of good). Frankly I didn't care at the time, and simply wanted out....4 weeks later I got my wish and after drinks at the Marlborough Hotel in Newtown, I ventured off to a week off and then a whole new 11-Years-in-the-Making chapter of my work life....

I started the new job on 24 September, and after almost throwing up in the bathroom at home (which is exactly the vibe I was aiming for at the start of this new chapter in my life...NOT), I caught the train to North Ryde, and prepared to immerse myself in a world where I no longer knew anything, anyone, or even where they kept the stationery (can you imagine the horror? LOL).... but from the word go everyone was warm and friendly, I had the tremendous support of the other EAs there who were so selfless and giving with their time, and while the learning curve was so steep at times that I regretted not placing non-slip coating on the soles of my leather shoes, it was exhilarating to be doing something new.... Optus has been an amazingly positive move for me, and I have loved getting to know everyone (you get noticed very quickly when you are the only male EA in the whole division...lol), learning a whole slew of new skills, matering new roles, and generally feeling appreciated and valued for the first time in quite a while....oh yeah, and I get to read on the bus, something which proved a little difficult driving to work, as that lady I rear-ended while mid way through a particularly emotionally searing passage of "War and Peace" will attest....